cellist and more...

As a cellist, singer and songwriter, I am in search of my own identity. In doing so, I break away from old traditions and combine music styles that seem to be exclusive. Thus, in my songs and compositions influences of jazz, pop and classical music can be heard. Nevertheless, my music is very individual, intimate, questioning and boundless. I'm on my way to let go of the classical musician in me and to follow my own voice. But how did that happen?

 

Everything had started differently. Growing up in a classical influenced home, I followed the only career that I could imagine with my cello: I studied classical cello with diploma in Germany and France and wanted to play in an orchestra to earn my living. 

 

But my life had other plans with me. I was too creative. I always had the urge to create something new, and I felt the need to be able to express myself and not have to submit to hierarchies. For the first time I became aware of that during a preparatory course for design studies (that in the end I was unable to tackle): the professors did not feel attracted by the images that were as lifelike as possible, but they were impressed by the works, in which I had freed myself from the conventions and the pictorial painting and my own personality had come to light. I wanted to feel this freedom also on the cello, because after all, playing the cello was what I knew best about all my talents. So far, I had only learned to play with music sheets. But how could I jump over my own shadow and connect creativity with the cello?

 

On a master class for jazz cello with Stephan Braun, I realized for the first time how one could play the cello differently. Suddenly new perspectives, new playing techniques opened up, suddenly with my cello I could find my own voice through improvisation and finally create my own music. For me it was a revelation that such a musical freedom was even possible. Because suddenly there were no rules anymore, instead the certainty that everything I did was right, since it was created right at that moment. Even if it still felt new and I was insecure, I realized that this was the right way for me. The only one which leads to me and the only one on whom I do not have to bend or compare myself to others. 

 

From now on, each step was a further step to myself. I knew that everything previous had been important to find this path at all and any subsequent would lead me to my new personality. In my study of jazz improvisation in Linz, Austria, I met similar thinking personalities and have learned a lot about myself. I dared and tested new things and realized that where it is unpleasant and where one feels vulnerable, there is only the beginning of one's own identity.

 

There is a saying that the path to oneself is the hardest in life. But it is also the one who really gives you the feeling that you are in the right place at the right time. It is the one for whom it is worth leaving everything behind, changing everything over and remixing the cards. Everything is possible, but only if you create space for it in life. It was good that in my classical studies I had learned all those rules of how to play and articulate different styles of music. But it was even more important to forget all these rules and to follow and trust my own inspiration and intuition. Only then could I find my own voice with my music. I do not know where my path will take me, but I am ready to go beyond limits and try new things. There is still so much music in me that I have not put on paper yet and I enjoy embracing the infinite freedom that I have received as a musician and creator in this life.

 

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